goodnight..

I have been sufficiently distracted lately. I don't have to contemplate my own life so much these days. I managed to avoid seeing my mother this CNY, and although everyone has been telling me that I should go see her, I still did not. I am thoroughly relieved that I did not have to deal with my issues with her together with the family pressuring me to make my peace etc.

I spent a lot of time with my friends, simply playing mahjong. Hours and hours of it. And during which, we don't talk about our lives or the problems we are facing. Just spending semi-stress free time together, making stupid jokes, singing along to stupid songs and basically just acting stupid. During this time, I have not been thinking too much, beating myself up over things, feeling guilty about things and generally have a good time.

I am tired. I have been playing more mahjong then I have been sleeping or going visiting. I like this. I didn't really have to deal with my relatives and I don't have to deal with any issues.

I am scared that things will resume back to being hectic and depressive again next week. This week has been so good to me. And probably is the break that I needed. I really needed this break.

The lack of sleep is perhaps helping, as I have become unable to process deep thoughts. Lol. It is good in some way huh.

and we should have just left it at goodnight.