one night...

a tear fell from my eye tonite... its been a long time since it has happened.... it actually feels quite refreshing... expect nothing and lose nothing... expect everything and lose everything.... sometimes its very difficult to do what u think... i believe in that previous line but im just unable to bring myself toobey it... i dunno why... i guess its part of who i am to be this way... the thing is im not sad, not angry.... im not anything.... guess im just very jaded... more and more so i guess.. nothing seems to faze me anymore.... sure im affected by stuff but its no longer important or as important as it is to me as compared to last time.... i know im foolish but hey... its me isnt it... ive got the right to be this way... so nobody should look at me weird or be unhappy with what i said, because its my own sentiment and im definately entitled to it... anyway when im in this mood i seem to be able to write better.... its my bane i guess.. i only can write stuff when i feel.... no matter.... im not just actin nonchalant.... im actually am.... dont believe me? well its up to u to believe or not.... im caring less and less nowadays and it feels better..... dont know why... guess its just the way it is... but im a little afraid ive become too numb to everything... that would be a scary thought.... but whatever ya... another day goes by and my life still goes on....